a month without therapy and it's showing lol but managed to try to finish changing everything since i'll be (hopefully) busy by next month. who knows?

in october i want to get back in some habits (journaling, going to the gym everyday, reading etc) so let's hope it will work out!

nct dream concert was amazing! i'm writing about it to upload at substack but someday i will make a shrine for it! everything worked out and i had a blast! probably one of the best days of my life

which is funny sice i had a miserable and worst week ever after the concert lol i honestly was expecting it but it was hard. i still didn't process it and i'm still feeling like shit but i will have therapy soon and i hope to stop feeling like this

also new hello new layout? the white background was truly blinding so i tried some neutral colors. lets see if i keep it

i love august because it's my birthday month! i got my best friends to celebrate with me at home and it was really good!! we had lots of good food (thank you mom) and a good time overall. i feel truly blessed to have them by my side.

next week i will have a pinic with my other friends and i'm so excited since there's nothing better than having everyone that i cherish by my side ♡

guess who's back! me! i decided to re-do the whole website and explain for a bit my design choices if anyone is even interested lol

i'm that type of person who gets bored easily of stuff and is in constant need of change. looking at my previous layout made me not want to update it haha so i thought having a minimalist design would not make me lose interest, since it's more customizable! i decided to go to a simple white background and have fun with some pastel colors that i like. i intend to do all my pages in this style and change a few things or so (like background color, if it has columns/sidebar etc) and right now i'm really excited about it! it also reminds me of the simple old web with only html so i'm giving a shot ^_^

still having problem with making my kpop page. i tried to use the opensheet jv to make the directory of all my photocards but i didn't like the look of it so i might just give up. also i'm not satisfied with this journal page :( nothing hooks me on.. any suggestion?

btw nct 127 released their album 'walk' today and i looove it. gas is probably my favorite track with rain drop. and suddenly... and every track really

*ahem* hello! i am alive! i couldn't update the website because by the end of may i got diagnosed with dengue and it was so so bad. i never felt something like that before and not to be dramatic or anything but i truly felt like i was gonna die lmao i felt like shit for fifteen days and all of sudden i woke up #healed??? ( ô ‸ ô ) i even joked with mom that jesus came to my room personally that afternoon to heal me because of how sudden it was fjsdfijskdg

anyways i'm finally walking towards writing my thesis and at the same time that i'm excited i am really scared... i feel like i'm not capable of doing it even though it's just another project for grad school •ᴖ• things will work out i'm just an anxious & frightened girl!!!!

hopefully i will be more active here on neocities now :D i have a lot of pages to make and css to understand because i can't make a kpop page work for the love of me lol

so yesterday's pre-sale was a fail. the vip tickets soldout pretty fast and i couldn't get it even after hours of trying. but today at general sale i got it!!! i'm soo relieved. feels like a burden off my shoulders were taken off. nct dream i'm coming!!!!

and now i'm pissed that i spend $25 in a membership i didn't use and hasn't any purpose to me since i live in brazil. oh well.

bought nct dream fuckass membership on monday because it will let me buy their tickets at pre-sale. fuck sm for real! three days until the sale and although i'm excited i'm also anxious because i'll try the vip ticket.. it will work out!! i'm just!! excited?? anxious!! arghhhhh!!!!!

a few days ago while on bed a tiny white moth landed on my hand and it stayed on for a few minutes. i decided to release it in our garden but it was so peaceful that i almost hesitated

i told my friends about it and n_ asked if i knew the meaning of moths in spiritualism and explained that moths are the link between our world and astral realm so i probably got visited by someone who left and has deeply affection towards me. so i obviously thought about lua, my dear cat, who had passed last year. i'm not usually someone who believes in stuff like that but it made me really happy. i miss her everyday. i'm glad wherever she is, she stills remembers me, as i will always carry her in my heart.

we pretty much knew nct were coming to brazil but we finally got a confirmation! more details will be available next week and i'm lowkey anxious thinking about all the logistics (and ticket price ofc)

since my last experience wasn't that great i want to make everything better :( last year it happened in a really bad time in my life and the concert itself sucked ass because people were pushing too much and i couldn't see shit until i needed to leave my spot. so, i want this time to be really good.. they are my favorite group.. let's hope everything will work out! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

trying for the nth time to keep a blog or whatever to just dump my awful thoughts. at first i thought that creating a bear-blog for more personal writings would be better but right now having one more thing to keep track of seems too intimidating and overwhelming. so, unfortunately, here will be an enormous amount of unlabled stuff. although i'm more of a analogic person (i literally do everything by hand and keeping notebooks) i feel like writing in english on a computer is less intimidating and cringe than writing on my notebooks lol despiting the english language but still needing to use it or else i will get rust is my villain story.

anyways! i want to do a lot of stuff here on neocities but i am too lazy to actually learn html and css properly so i'm just dealing with bits of bad code that i managed to understand from tutorials (っ｡‸◟ c) i honestly even wanted to give up since i'm not in the headspace for comitting to learn something from zero but if i keep running from it i will not archieve nothing in life and hey. this is something i created to pass my time. its not a responsability.. so yeah! i will do everything that i can withouth rushing myself (even more)

life has been weird and i do not want to live but i will manage to get through another week as i awalys do. trying to believe a little better in myself.